Ive always struggled with my weight. My whole life, its up and down. Ive never been skinny, but I yoyo between huge and big fine country girl. Im from Louisiana and its not in my DNA to be super thin, so naturally, I am going to have a "red beans and rice" body.
In 2007, when Id gotten pregnant with Anthony I was probably a size 10. When I delivered Anthony I was a size 16. I worked really hard from late July to mid September to get into a 14 for my best friend's wedding. (Let's note here that Christine was BRIDEZILLA, I considered bariatric surgery as to not disappoint her, and PARDON ME for just having given birth, lol) Anyway, I lingered at a 14 (or 13 to 15 in juniors) during that time. In the aftermath of Tony leaving for a civilian job in Afghanistan ( I often joke that, not only can I not keep a man, they actually tend to LEAVE THE COUNTRY to escape me) and me really, for the first time having to deal with everything that had happened to us in the previous couple of years, I developed one of the most severe cases of Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia that Ive ever seen.
After being hospitalized for a week (great, now ill never get that concealed weapon permit) I was put on a medication called Remeron. I had given Remeron to several of my elderly patients, so I knew it helped with sleep disturbance, anxiety and depression. What I didn't realize is that its off label use was for appetite stimulation. HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?!?!?!?!?! Anyway, not only did my anxiety significantly decrease at night when I took it, but I would crave comfort foods just before bed.
One night, as I was eating a gumbo bowl full of Life cereal and milk....IN BED, Granny came in the room to see what I was laughing at on TV and she said " Apuh Lynn! mm-mmm" and I was like " What?!" so Granny says " Boooyyyyy, but sha! You're gonna regret yourself this summer when its time to wear shorts and your legs are gonna be too big to fit 'em. You're gonna have to wear your scrub everywhere!" So, I was like " Granny, I'll be fine, at least my appetite is back!" So she just said, as she walked out " Okayyyyyy, but don't cry to me when you gotta take an old quilt to make some short to wear" (*again, I cannot stress enough that my grandmother never quite learned how to use "s" at the end of a plural noun, ugh! Maybe it is because English was her second language?)
So anyway, needless to say, my appetite was gone for the night. Never fear though, it returned heartily the next night. And, I have to admit, Granny was right. Fifty something pounds later, here I am..."regretting" myself. Lol. They did discontinue the Remeron eventually and the doctor said "Omg, who put you on this, I'd never put a young woman, like yourself, of child bearing age on a drug that promotes weight gain" and I was like "Thanks! Thanks for the too late advice" LOL. However, the doctor did promise that once I stopped taking Remeron my weight would correct itself, and its true.....I lost a whopping 4 pounds in 2 months after that. WOW.
Sometimes when I was trying on clothes, Granny would walk in, with her cane and I'd say " How does this look, Gran?" and she would say, " Are you still taking that medicine?" and id say "NO!!!!!!!! Why?????" she would just shrug and say "Well if you would go walk or something it would look good."
But my favorite was when I was just walking around the house in a short night gown or a tshirt and shorts and she'd say "caaaaauuuuuughhhht damn! Apuh Lynn, that Caboose!" So I would say "Granny!" and she would say "Well even when you're slim you got a big Caboose, but gollllllyyyyyyyy I don't know how you carry that thing around" She loved me.... I promise.
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