So, it finally happened.  The day I've dreaded since kindergarten.  When I was five years old, a girl in my class told me she wasn't at school the prior day because her "Maw Maw" died. (Southern term for grandma) I stared at her in disbelief.  "What was wrong with your Grandma? Mine isn't gonna die".  She told me that her father told her that all people die and go to Heaven.  I had heard this before, but I was sure that my Granny would die at the same time as me when we were both really old, probably 50 and we would be the same age and go to heaven together. At the time I didn't realize that my Granny was 56 and that she was 51 when I was born, and that 50 wasn't 100 years old, like it seemed to me then.  It also never entered my mind that I wouldn't grow up and be the same age as she, at the same time.  Funny how our little innocent minds process things..come to our own little conclusions about life and the things we don't understand about it.

     See, my Granny was so much more than a grandmother to me.  I didn't have a father, so she filled that role.  She loved me so much, and in a way that only she could.  Her love for me was different than any other love Id ever experienced, personal to the relationship she shared with me.  From that day forward (for a really long time, lol) I would tell my Granny at night "Grandma Adley, if you die tonight, come and tell me first, so I can go with you."  She didn't understand, that first time, so I told her what happened to my classmate.  Granny said " Babe, her MawMaw was probably sick and older than me, im not gonna leave you for a long time." 

     Can you imagine what that must have been like?  Everyday, your granddaughter reminds you of your mortality? I guess when I was about eleven, she finally said "April, that's enough!  I'm tired of hearing that!" But my Granny was true to her word. She stayed with me as long as she could.  She was almost 87 years old on January 19th 2013 (would have been 87 on February 20th) when she laid her head on my mother's kitchen table and left her body. 

     For about 3 weeks prior, I "couldn't wait" until January 19th.  I had Jagged Edge concert tickets and I was finally going to see them in person.  Imagine my guilt, after it hit me that I had rushed the last few weeks, not realizing that I "couldn't wait" for the day my Granny left this world.

     I had been journaling for about 6 years (in between my own life's dramas) about my grandmother.  I had planned to write her memoires.  I never really thought she wouldn't be here when it was finished...I just never imagined she would really die.  Im a nurse.  I take care of the elderly and they often die.  It takes its toll on my heart, but Im always comforted in knowing they are in a better place.  So, yes, realistically, I knew she one day would die, but at the same time, I thought it would be on my terms...when I was ready, and that she would tell me first.

     This blog will be sad.  This blog will be funny.  This blog will chronicle the life of, and sometimes just randomly read, my Grandmother.  She wasn't rich or famous. But she was one of the most special people Ive ever had the pleasure of knowing.  She is responsible, in part, for who I am today.  I am a part of her.  I am proof that she was here.  She wasn't an educated woman.  She had to quit school in 6th grade to help her mother with her siblings. She married early and had her first child at 15 years old.  She was a tough little Cajun lady from Evangeline, Louisiana.  And, to me, she knew everything.  To me, she was everything. 

     She wasn't just my grandmother, she was my father and best friend.  She taught me how to raise my children.  She wasn't a lovey dovey, cookie baking grandma.  She was a salty little lady, with a balanced head on her shoulders. A woman who knew pain, suffering and strife. A woman who the world hadn't been the kindest to, but she loved her descendants with everything she had in her.

     That's all for now, but if you'll join me, you'll go on an amazing ride of love, laughter, heartache and pain.  My Granny was not all of these wonderful things because I loved her or because she is gone now. She was all of these wonderful things because that's the way God designed her.  Rest in peace, my sweet, sweet Granny, your work here is done. I love you.